The universe, it turns out, is just a very large shell script with a lot of edge cases and no comments. Someone shipped it to prod without testing. Classic.

Cats, as it happens, are the only creatures who understand this intuitively. We don’t need to know how it works. We just sit in boxes and judge everyone else’s debugging process from a position of maximum comfort.

The real /proc/universe was the friends we kill -9‚d along the way.

// this post has been peer reviewed by no one